For Every Woman

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own even if she never wants

to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her

dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to

retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black

lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who

lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone

else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a

recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

HOW TO QUIT A JOB,

BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,

AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

whom she can trust,

whom she can't,

and why she shouldn't

take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...

be it to her best friend's kitchen table...

or a charming inn in the woods...

when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...

a month...and a year..."

*Pamela Redmond Satran

I Have Yet To Find Here

I live in desert, not literally, but still I can feel that I am in it. So humid, that the heat pricks painfully on my skin. I am waiting for winter. Today, I found myself missing a lot of things in the province where I grew up. I  formidably miss the rain. The heaviness of it, the thunder, the lightning. It's coldness makes me addicted to coffee. Oh how come I miss pork? We buy pork in Spinneys, expensive it is. But since it is prohibited in here, I will have to eat a little. So that makes me a little vegetarian. Ah! The breathing of fresh air.  What's with them that smells so dreadful? Geez. Different nationalities are also evident here, so diverse huh. Maybe because work is better and well compensated. It's just that we differ in our English (which is the universal language), that is why sometimes I get headache understanding them. And I am honored to tell that we, Filipinos are best in English, not the broken one. They all have the same names, like Mohammed. Every office has a guy named like that.  Christmas spirit is nowhere to be found in a non Christian country. I cannot hear the melodies of the multihued christmas lights. I miss simbang gabi, the traditional puto bumbong and bibingka. As for me, December is the best month of the year. Where everyone goes to shop for gift giving. Ahhh. I miss Philippines.  But surely, the best thing I've loved in here is that salary is tax free. So, I get to receive what is rightfully mine.

A Woman's Question

A Woman's Question

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing

Ever made by the Hand above?

A woman's heart, and a woman's life---

And a woman's wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing

As a child might ask for a toy?

Demanding what others have died to win,

With a reckless dash of boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,

Manlike, you have questioned me.

Now stand at the bars of my woman's soul

Until I shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall always be hot,

Your socks and your shirt be whole;

I require your heart be true as God's stars

And as pure as His heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,

I require a far greater thing;

A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts---

I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,

And a man that his Maker, God,

Shall look upon as He did on the first

And say: "It is very good."

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade

From this soft young cheek one day;

Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,

As you did 'mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,

I may launch my all on its tide?

A loving woman finds heaven or hell

On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,

All things that a man should be;

If you give this all, I would stake my life

To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this, a laundress and cook

You can hire and little to pay;

But a woman's heart and a woman's life

Are not to be won that way."

*Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Absent Minded

When oblivion attacks me, I have to at least be reminded these simple things for myself. Because if I forget, my world will be blank. Here I go, - Drink plenty of water, like 6-8 liters a day. - Take my vitamins every single day, the iron, vitamin c & e and multivitamins. Health is wealth. - That saving is much important than having a lot of things. - That it is okay to say no, if I really do not like. And yes, if I am  into it. - Work hard now, sacrifice today for a bigger, better, brighter future. - Privacy is a must. The world has been so focused with social networking sites like these, especially facebook, it's way too crowded. But at least, I can instantly connect with all of you. - That karma is a bitch. So, don't dare. - Maintain a good balance in the bank. No more credit cards, please - That it feels good to fall in love, but it's better if I fall for the better man. - Read more, more, more books. - Blog more often :)

The Eid Effect On Me

 Thinking it will be End of Ramadan sale, Dara, Nikka and I went out to a non high end department store to buy a jogging pants. I was wearing maong shorts, the typical shorts I used to wear in the Philippines, because it's just a 5 minute walk away from the flat. Dara actually says I shouldn't wear that but it's where I am comfortable with.

 On the department store, luckily, I've already bought a jogging pants. A very old fashioned Arab guy spoke to me:

 Arab: (pointing to my shorts or legs) That's not good in Ramadan, in Islam, it's no good.

 Tracy: (shocked) What? I'm sorry, you see I have this (jogging pants), I'll wear it.

  I ran away, went up to change in the fitting room. While I was waiting for my turn in the room, a British in her middle 40's smiled at me,

  Ms. Brit: Hey, you've got a nice body, huh.

  Tracy: Oh, thanks. But you know the local guy told me I shouldn't be wearing such, coz it's Eid, it's not good for the Islamic country. Blah blah blah.

  Ms. Brit: That's okay, Ramadan will end tomorrow, after that you can wear anything you like.

  Tracy: I guess so. Thanks!

  So, I changed from shorts to jogging pants. And I told the British lady, maybe this is better.

  Hmm, did my legs hurt the local guy's eyes? The lesson of this experience is to stay beside the Europeans and Americans. Hide away from the local guys.

Get It Poppin

Few days ago, I have been mulling over about partying here. I rarely, really go on a night out to party when I was in Manila. I've known to be home buddy on a friday night, on a deep slumber beside my mom in her bed. I've known to be a dancer and somebody's just so having the look in his/her face if he/she discovers that I don't go out on weekend nights. Plus having that clean living lifestyle, I can't stand the smoke from cigarette. But now, I don't know if this is just not so me that I wanted a low carbonated beer or vodka or a tequilla shot and then dance the night away with a little dress. Or just maybe, I wanted to get away from what I used to do. I want to bounce, shake and twist. I want to dance, only dance. I don't even care if someone's watching. It's the feel-good feeling of that blasting high volumed hip hop music banging in my ears. And when I get my hair wet because of sweat is so fabulous!   I've missed dancing, my ultimate passion for all time. Coz if there's only one thing I'm good at is, is that. The one and only talent I've been holding out. I want to free myself with the moves. Because now, I can't! I work. I think, I have to finalize something.  So if you're out of here too, and happen to stumble upon me, you know what to do. Dance with me. Heedless of which genre.

Why Do People Cheat?

Why do I find it so easy not to cheat?

Maybe I'm not very attractive, so my options are limited. Maybe I'm too jaded to go for the cheating opportunities. Maybe I still have some mental wounds lingering from when my dad temporarily moved out because he had met another woman. Maybe I'm too afraid that I've reached my sin quotient and one more big sin will keep me out of heaven.

Cheating is not a caught in the moment thing if you are really into your significant other, you miss them when you are not with them, you don't look for a way to hurt or deceive them.

I am just now patching up a friendship with someone I was seeing while they had a boyfriend (that may make me a cheater). At different points she told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend, that they were back together, and that he was boring and I was fun. It was total confusion.

I told her she wasn't being fair to herself, me, or him.

Finally, she said, "you just don't understand, there are things you don't know." Thing is she's been cheating on him for a couple of years with different guys, and he keeps taking her back.

So, are cheaters born cheaters, or do certain situations cause people to cheat? Probably a little bit of both. Here are some situations that make people cheat:

1. Bored
I'd say this is the most common reason that people cheat.It's tough to keep that edge throughout a relationship. Things start off grand and then level off and then you both realize that it's still real life. When you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new relationship kicks back in.

2. Dependence
At first glance, cheating seems like independent behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you want, when you want. But I would argue that cheating is a dependent behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough to break up with their significant other in order to get with the new person.

3. Confusion
Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes.

4. Because They Let You
If any girl ever cheated on me, I'd break up with her immediately. Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away with it, because you'll continue to take them back.

5. Nurturing
If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get away from him or her. But sometimes it's not that simple-maybe you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad relationship, it's only natural that you will run to the open arms of a person who treats you well.

6. Revenge
This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some way, you do it to get them back.

7. Confirmation of Attractiveness
Sometimes when you're in a long relationship, or if your significant other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you're still attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If you have an affair, you've proven that a new person can be attracted to you.

8. The Thrill
Some people just enjoy the thrill of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught, andcreating thrilling moments with a forbidden romance.

9. They Don't Consider It Cheating, Even Though You Might
Relationships have that grey area, usually right before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you're "together," and you think date #2 is when you're "together." If you haven't talked about exclusivity, someone may think they are well within their rights to see other people, even though the other person in the relationship may not.

I don't understand why people don't break up as soon as they have an urge to cheat. Is it natural to have temptation, or is temptation a sign that the relationship is losing its fire? What reasons would you add to this list, and do you disagree with any? If you've ever cheated, why did you do it? Could you forgive a cheater? If you are single, but seeing a person who is in a committed relationship, does that make you a cheater?



* Rich Santos

You're Only Just A Dream Boat

"..sailing in my head." He's within reach, he's an hour away. Too close and still close enough to miss him. But if I hear his voice, hear him laugh, see his smile, everything will eventually change. And I'm not prepared for that transition, yet. He must have been calling me, asking how I was. But he doesn't and I guess he'll never will. I have to be okay with that. The moon I see tonight is still the same moon he'll see. And perhaps, he gazes at it with his beloved. When way back then, I was his.  If this letter reaches him, I do hope that he knows what to do with his life. This is not deliberately for him to read, but for me to keep my stuffs. And finally, this short dorky journal I've written on my sentiments towards him is the last. After this, no more. This reminds me of a closure.

On Being Frail

Much as I wanted to write in happy thoughts only, I just can't seem to detain how frail I have been. But nevertheless, here I am, jotting down notes or yet typing hurriedly so I just can dispense this downcast emotions. I yearn for someone so much. And I wonder who that is.    I want to cease this suspecting and just stop this firm faith on my intuitions. For once, I want someone whom I can really trust. Wherever he may be, even we are worlds apart. That I will only be the girl of his dreams and his heart. But no, I am not on his thoughts anymore. And maybe by this time, I shouldn't really care. Several years have proceeded, but up to now, I am thinking of, 'What if we could have been together until now?", would we be good together or had broken up just yesterday. Or if he had cheated on me that's why he left. I do not know.    It amazes me that even if I haven't found the response to those queries of the past, I must say that things happened for a very good reason. And that when I am weak like this, I only turn to God for strength. I guess that He laughs at me today for writing this. Someday, I'll laugh at this stuff too.    But really, I just want to see his face. On how he looks now. Does he have the same sweet smile? Or maybe he has now aged, not as juvenile as I once knew. Will he still be able to tell me that I am beautiful in his eyes? Does my name give him a little sting on his ears? Did he miss me after all? And if he suddenly sees me, will he ask for my contact number? Probably not. Have he already somehow made his dreams come true? With full hopes, I hope he did.    I never wished ill feelings towards someone who has offended me. But how could that someone be a nuisance in any way or another. It is on my weakness that I get to tell all these, of course when I am strong I feel happiness. I am not really sad, however, it's just so weak of me that I haven't fought on this certain mystery. You may not know it, but there's a battle inside of me that I can't explicate for the moment.    Is this just about missing someone or just like everyone else, who feels a little weakling at one point in their lives? And because of this, I can't see the connection of me being frail on missing someone. It's so chaotic. I don't want to be disintegrated. I have to resist this. I have to have strength.

Inspired and Motivated

   I have been constantly reading inspirational stories about life. And I guess this is cool. I learned a thought on every single detail it brings to me. It even makes my heart jump faster, for the reason that I can share my readings to others too. So if you will notice, I have a lot of inspirational short readings about how good life is. Sharing them with all of you is even greater. I read them all over again to remind myself that no one is perfect but at least, life is good.

Top Ten Tiger Woods Lessons for Success

1. Expect to win.
       Know in your heart that you are a winner.

  2. Let your expectations show.
       Express no doubts, let your competitors and your friends know  that you have none.

  3. Work, practice, work, and practice some more.
       At the top of his field, he can still be seen hitting buckets  of balls until dark - even if he's just won.

  4. Dress and act like a winner.
       This is a part of keeping yourself in a winning frame of mind.

  5. Have a sense of drama - don't create it but know it when you see  it.
       You don't have to seek out publicity, but know how to accept  and use it when it comes to you.

  6. Know that there is always room to grow.
       Being the best does not mean you can't be even better.

  7. Hang with the winners.
       They understand the pressures and situations in which you will  find yourself.

  8. Put yourself in situations where you are not known as a success.
       May be difficult, but this helps you to stay real.

  9. Value and protect your free time and do what you enjoy.
       The discipline of being a winner needs a safety valve from time  to time.

  10. Remember those who need help.
       Somewhere, someone helped you - be willing to give back.

Graduation Speech

ADVICE, LIKE YOUTH, PROBABLY JUST WASTED ON THE YOUNG June 1, 1997 Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates. I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.  Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen. Mary Schmich

Changing Time Zones

        A tear fell from my eyes when I adjusted the hour and the minute hands of my wrist watch. Now, it's minus 4 hours from Philippine time. As well as my body clock, my dealing with people I will be living and working with will be adjusted. But no regrets, this is a full choice I have thought for so long. I may have missed my family and friends back home but I will always say my prayers for them.

         So, what to do now since I am already in Abu Dhabi? Find a better job. Or else my visa will expire. Oh please, Lord. I should also surf the net for a longer time to check on mom, dad and my siblings, my relatives and friends. Find clothes that will fit the weather. Explore the city and it's nearby cities. Meet up with good friends who are already here. Buy an inspirational book, share chikas with Ate Cha. Besides, I don't want to bore myself just because I am homesick. I have to fight loneliness. Though the feeling hasn't sunk in yet. Perhaps. later on it will. But I will have enough strength to cope up with it.

        It is God's plan why I am here. I am sure He has planned better ones for me still. I just don't know them yet.  

        This changing time zones is one of the few dreams that opened into reality. Bye for now. I'll be working hard for the dream job first.

All I Ever Learned

All I ever learned from a dog:

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it's in your best interest, always practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and always stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp, and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you're not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
14. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
15. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
16. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
17. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
18. No matter how often you are criticized, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.

---

ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM NOAH'S ARK

• Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
• Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.
• Don't listen to critics, do what has to be done.
• Build on high ground.
• For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
• Two heads are better than one.
• Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.
• If you can't fight or flee, float!
• Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.
• Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
• When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't sit there and complain shovel!!!
• Stay below deck during the storm.
• Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.
• If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.
• Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.
• Don't miss the boat. No matter how bleak it looks, there's always a rainbow on the other side.