A Sweet Tooth

   I love chocolates to death. May it be browns, whites and especially darks. I have sore throat today. I have been munching my unlimited supply of chocolates lately. I even forced someone to give me a piece of chocolate a day just for my so called sugar rush. I don't feel the calories so I continue to eat to death. It boosts my energy level and it's indeed a comfort food. I have been thinking of something so irrelevant lately in my life, that made me gloomy, so I guess I have to eat sweets just to make me feel happy. But I have to watch my sugar content. My lola (dad's mom) is diabetic. She's a doctor but still that wasn't an excuse for such dreadful disease to attack her. But I tell you, she's 80 plus now but still full of strength and she injects insulin all by herself (long live to you lola).

   Oh, when can i stop loving you my chocolates? I just can't live without the sweets.

First Love

   I honestly do not know how to start this story. But at this time, I terribly miss someone. My thoughts have been disoriented. I don't even know the reason why I miss that person. Whereas in this case, he doesn't even say a word at all. A silent war? I don't think so. He must have been having his conscience already bothered him today.

  Ten to twelve years ago, I met someone who had given an impact in my life. So much impact that until this minute I write such, just to vent this feelings of mine. Okay, the story goes out like this. It was summer and I often go out with my girl cousins amidst the warmness of the day. And during summer, there is a basketball league held in our place. Yeah, what do I know about basketball? Really, none. But so to say, I knew there were boys. They had crushes on some players ( okay, term it as jologs, it's fine. I believe every child goes through the stage of being a little like one). And honestly, since I came from an exclusive school for girls, I had no crush. It was an ordinary day, when I saw a boy of my age, wearing a crisp white shirt biking along the sides of the basketball court. Without any thoughts, I told my cousin, that I already have a crush but didn't really feel that it was crush. Just to be “in” with them, I did that. How clever of me. But I knew that teen age boy who he was. Though I hadn't met him formally. I knew where he lives. I knew his name. But never saw his face until that day when I saw him biking. One of my cousin's cousin, introduce us to each other. And then, teasing comes along. And I was just trying to be nice, you know. I smiled. But yeah, he has cute little brown eyes. I knew and that boy knew how we were related with each other. I'm talking about that we are second cousins. That time, it wasn't a big deal. I knew all along that it was just an infatuation. But the thing is, after he was introduced to me, I just can't take my mind off him and how will I be able to see him again without being caught. And that just I smile whenever I think of him. Is this first love? Summer fling? Back then, I really have no idea. But it's certain that he's stuck in my mind.

   After meeting him, he already liked me. And that's another story. A puppy love may be. But it felt so good. We had chances on being together and share stories about our schooling. After a while, I knew that he has been mistakenly thought that my name is Daisy. He made me laugh .Those teenage years, I'll always treasure.

   It was his 15th birthday when he told me he loves me and he wants me to be his girlfriend. So young, I knew it wasn't the time yet. We had misunderstanding about it. But eventually, we became young lovers. We broke up, reconciled, fight and love again. By then, it feels good, really. After high school, that was the time that we really broke up. Parted ways, hated each other ( I did, somehow), missed him, had spoken with him again, he had a new girlfriend ( it was ouch), then met up again with him, and with magic, we became lovers again and again. Does first love die? Let's see later on.

   It was year 2005 when we had the last relationship. I mean, we broke up and that meant for me that I'll lose him forever. I accepted the fact. He hurt me. He knows that. I hate him for the few moths but missed him unfortunately. I had moved on. I had another relationship. But he wants me back. I can't. I was committed. I lost the relationship again. He wants me back for good, I didn't know what to say.

   August 2007, when I was single and just fresh from a break up. I was awaken by the ringing of my phone at around 5:30 am whereas I wake up at 7am for work. I didn't recognize who was calling me early that time. When I answered it, it was him. He told me he's leaving the country. He's going to work in a foreign country. He was already at the airport when he called. He said goodbye. He told me he loves me so much still. I was speechless. But i had always prayed for his safety. He even said that he'll work for “our” future. How sweet of him. I was the last person he spoke to before leaving. Then he told me he'll call as soon as he arrives. Oh yes, he did. I was the first person he called when he arrived there. He was calling surprisingly. I liked those moments. Though at that time, I was in deep pain because of another man.

   July 2008. I received a phone call from him. But I didn't know it was him. He wants to meet up with me. I said I can't. I was committed with the wrong man. But again, I never failed to say my prayers for him each and everyday.

   January 2009, he's single, I am too. And I guess I am cleaning up all the clutters I had messed up with my life for the past years of having a failed relationship. Though he's there, I am here, we talk. Chat, phone calls, messages kept up together. He'd even call every “monthsary” we celebrated. But on the day he promised me he'd be home, I never saw his shadow. But he had time with some of his friends. I couldn't fathom the mystery he's doing. He said it'll be surprise. Damned, I was really surprised. Those days that I had anticipated all the happiness he'd bring, suddenly faded away. Would you hate that person? I had no idea if I hated him (again) but he hurt me so much. That I felt depression. Again, I prayed for him everyday of my life.

   Where is he now? Is he thinking of me? He already apologized. Ok, he's forgiven. He said sorry and told me to just understand his mistake. Oh yes, I understood everything. Isn't that enough for him to keep me? Or it's really his pleasure to see me like this? I've missed him really. And for me, first love never dies. I guess not until today.

It's 38 Degrees and Rising

   I love summertime but summer of 2010 has given out so much heat. Agree? Even on the first weeks of March, you already felt the stinging pain of sunburn when you go out at 9am. This isn't normal as the years before. So, why am I so concern about the annoying heat nowadays? Personally, I sleep in a room without an aircondition (since I am just boarding), and really, I would sweat out to think that I only wear a tank top and short shorts. And at the middle of the night, I wake up with sore throat because I am thirsty. It has alarmed me, that I don't get to sleep soundly because of such weather. And one morning I invited my mom to go jogging with me. I woke up at 5:30 am, thinking it's still dark outside and I'd get to see the sunrise, but you know what? The sun's up and it is already like mid-day .I also have seen in the news that some people are attacked by the heat wave. Like the politician who was on his campaign and he perspired excessively to the point that he already collapsed, and that's it. The heat ended his life (rest in peace, sir). Other commuters, who try to fit in with a lot of passengers inside a bus or the train would just suddenly faint. I pity those events. The farmers out there who supply us with rice, crops and other plantations, have been fervently praying for rain. Everything has dried up. The water dams could only provide the water systems on a due time. Electricity bills gone higher since this heat occurred. And I believe it doesn't just happen here in our country. My relatives from UAE had told me that when they go out of the flat, they burn, migraine assails them, which is really different from long time ago(climate in UAE are extremes) Meaning, it really has a climate change everywhere! I also have spoken with my Aunt in New York, and they had been going out for a swimming because it's too hot.

   If you remember, just half a year ago, two strong typhoons hit the Philippines and it has destroyed so much of what we own. People lost their homes, businesses and properties. Others have gone so sick. La Niña and El Niño are not normal. It has been said in some reports that when this heat ends, heavy rains would happen. I myself am threatened about what's happening today. It might get worst when I already have grandchildren. And I don't want them to experience that. This isn't even healthy. I'm way too sure that it will cause sickness.

  As early as today, yes at this very moment, you can have a fair share of taking care of Mother Earth ( if you have been my schoolmate during elementary and high school, you'd remember that care for mother earth is the last goal of vmg).And you may want to preserve your health too. Here are few ways to stay healthy and little ways to do something about it.

Drink plenty of water. More than 8 glasses are much needed.

Put sunblock when going out. Or do not go out between 10am to 4pm ( you don't like skin cancer, do you?) But I guess, I already feel the heat at 6am and it lasts until 6pm. See?

Save energy. How? By simply unplugging unused appliances, turning off the lights when not in use, not soaking up in front of your pc or television.

Throw garbages on it's right trash, not just anywhere you like to. If you do, you'll regret it when typhoon arrives. Segregate. You were taught to do this since 1st grade

Use eco-friendly materials, organic and biodegradable.

Recycle. Reuse. Never burn plastics. The ozone layer will loathe you for that.

Plant trees ( and I'm not relating about your farmtown or farmville) Your great grand children will thank you for that.

   You know little things like this won't offend you, it's even a bigger help. It'll make a big difference, you'll see. We only live in this so called earth, it's not ours, it was just lent by the Almighty, so be reminded that we are stewards of His creation. We're here to preserve it's beauty. So, when is the best time for an ordinary person to do this? Of course, right now. I myself am confessing that I am an advocate for a greener earth. So, please, make a move to promote a greener environment.

Goodbyes: meant to have a better life or simple moving forward.

   Oh, I am not talking about a relationship that had just broken up for the last weeks. I haven't been in a relationship for almost 2 years, and I love it! I am saying goodbye to my current work and to the beloved home country I have grown up for 25 years. Yes, I am talking about a gamble in working abroad. It's about time to be independent. I want to earn bigger compensation that would enable me to support my family's need. Not that we're poor. But I am still aiming for a higher standard in life. And the consequence here is that you'll get to be a friend of loneliness, of missing your family and friends. Though I would be living in a place where there a lot of fellow Filipinos and that I am luckier because I'd live with my relatives.

   Just the other day, I had a confirmation that sooner I'd leave. It hadn't struck me yet but when I thought of leaving mom and dad, it hurt you know. But I have to do this. It's so hard when you don't want to leave but you'd do that for them. Weird really. It's emotional, it's tougher when the date gets nearer. Surely, this is a blessing. An opportunity that will change my life forever. I have no idea what job would I be landing when I get there. All I have with me, is a strong force, which is a constant prayer. Lord, please. I know, You want the best for me. Though I had been praying for such job that I have been dreaming since I was five. If He grants it, better. If not, I'm still thankful.

    What would happen if I'll stay here? Would I get to have what I want? In five years time, would I have a US Visa? Or had I already travelled in Europe by then? You'd think this may be an illusion, but hey, it's my dream. Don't laugh about it. I don't really know. But they say, opportunity comes once so you might as well grab it. All I want to do is to have investments, to help out in the church, to at least travel, to have business and leisure. Not bad right? I'm dreaming. So, as far as i know, i will achieve them. The sooner, the better. I promise myself to be more persevering and hard working. Plus, save enough money for future.

   I pray to God that the economy gets better here in the Philippines. Just so you know, I'm leaving the first week of August. You read it right, I won't celebrate my 25th birthday here. I hope to have pancit there.

40 Tips For A Better Life

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.

7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water.. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. GOD heals almost everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!)

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.

*by Robert Alajandro

A Letter To Mommy

May 7, 2010

Ever dearest Mommy,

 I thank you for the 24.9 years of staying with me. For giving birth to me. For all the littlest thing you've done. Those things made me the lady who I am now. Not perfect, but at least good enough to say that I am a good daughter, and it's certainly because of you. I love you Mommy. For the lunch, the allowance, the clothes, the home and most of all the love and understanding. The unlimited support you have been showing for me, for dad, for Rob and for Kim. I know you can't stop nagging, but I love it. Your non stop rants serves as the music to my ears. And I miss it whenever I am away. I would always want to stay at home with you during the weekends because you'd always love to cook, and I won't mind gaining calories so long as I'd have free breakfast, lunch and dinner at home. I love to stay home because your flowers and plants are always pleasing to the eye, it gives me serenity. You don't notice that I like getting sick, coz in that way I'll be pampered with your soothing massage, taste the warm delightful soup and that you'll just stay beside me in bed. I feel in the state of bliss whenever you ask about my lovelife because I know that you wanted to know the right man for me. The Lord has been so good because you never left us. I won't trade my life with anyone, coz I have the best with you. I love you so much mommy. Months from now, as I get older things will never be the same, some things would hurt but still, you would always be the 1st in my priorities.

Happy mother's day to you. And to all moms out there, you are all the best. Wishing you good health and peace of mind. To all sons and daughters, make sure you'll get to greet you mom today. She's waiting, tell her how much you love her. God bless you.

Loves,

Tey ♥♥♥