Love That Bites

I’m going to fall in love someday. One day, perhaps from out of the blue, perhaps from behind my back, some wonderfully precious lady is going to grab one of those caveman type clubs and send it crashing over my head. She’s going to make me see stars. For days, I’m going to be in a smiling stupor. Maybe I’ll even drool a bit. And I’m going to be in love.

This love is going to be neither cheap nor easy. It’s not going to be a plastic ring bought at the corner dime store. It’s not going to be a brass ring purchased at some commercial mall. It’s going to be a set of diamond in a ring of gold. This ring will not come from a gemstone though. I’m going to craft it myself. I’m going to smelt the ore, fashion the ring, cut the diamonds, and forge this magnificent jewel. It’s going to shine in the sunlight, glitter in the moonlight, and it will last for more than a thousand years. And it will befor her.

Now I don’t want this love to be bed of roses, painted or otherwise. I don’t want it simply sweet and sugary. I don’t want it to be just like peppermint bits or chocolate kisses.

I want this love to hurt.

I want this love to bite. I want this love to be able to bite. I’m not talking about ant bites, mosquito bites, bee stings. I don’t want to be bitten by some pitiful insect that I can slap away or crush with barely a thought. I want to be bitten by something with teeth. I want to be bitten by a great white shark or the king of the jungle. I want a piece of myself to be torn away and chewed on. I want to bleed.

I’m not crazy, and I’m not a masochist. I have never enjoyed pain and I don’t like being hurt. But I want my love to be able to hurt me.

I want my love to be someone I can fuss over, someone who’ll have me pulling out of my hair in fistfuls trying to decide whether she’d rather have the dozen roses or the Valentine truffles. I want my love to make me chew my fingernails down to my knuckles when it’s almost midnight and she’s not home from the office yet. I want my love to make my heart pound ceaselessly when I worry about her driving on highways inhabited by gas-pedal-pushing madmen.

I want my love to make me pace back and forth, wearing deep trenches in the carpet, when it’s 8:30 and she hasn’t called yet. I want my love to push big, fat, watery tears from the hiding places in my eyes, down my flushed cheeks, off my hardened chin, and onto my clenched fists when she yells the word “hate” in my face and calls me a jerk. I want to feel the cold kiss of steel through my heart should my love ever leave me all alone.

And should my love ever die, I want to weep for days on end. I want to scream and kick and curse and hate. I want to feel as if my body were being burned by fierce flames. I want to thrash madly about and when my spirit is spent, I want to feel a noose tighten around my neck, slowly choking me.

With my hands clasped about my throat, I want to feel cold, as if ice had slid through my veins. I want to feel the heavy black weight loss and love on my frail shoulders.

I want my love to hurt, hurt as painfully as can be. I want to feel every bit of this pain. I want to feel every bit of this love.

I want this because love that doesn’t hurt is love that isn’t real. And I want the real thing for me and my true love.

*by Paolo Manlapaz

The One Who Got Away

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with …and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away?

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.

It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully you’re single… but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You’ll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?"

That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference.

If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow. And it would be a great feeling, if in the end, you’d be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away."

The Manila Times

Mark Macapagal

The Rules of being Human

You will receive a body.  You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for as long as you live.  How you take care of it or fail to take care of it can make an enormous difference in the quality of your life.

You will learn lessons.  You are enrolled in a full-time, informal school called Life.  Each day, you will be presented with opportunities to learn what you need to know.  The lessons presented are often completely different from those you think you need.

There are no mistakes, only lessons.  Growth is a process of trial, error and experimentation.  You can learn as much from failure as you can from success. Maybe more.

A lesson is repeated until it is learned.  A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it.  When you have learned it (as evidenced by a change in your attitude and ultimately your behavior) then you can go on to the next lesson.

Learning lessons does not end.  There is no stage of life that does not contain some lessons.  As long as you live there will be something more to learn.

“There” is no better than “here”.  When your “there” has become a “here” you will simply discover another “there” that will again look better than your “here.” Don’t be fooled by believing that the unattainable is better than what you have.

Others are merely mirrors of you.  You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.  When tempted to criticize others, ask yourself why you feel so strongly.

What you make of your life is up to you.  You have all the tools and resources you need.  What you create with those tools and resources is up to you.  Remember that through desire, goal setting and unflagging effort you can have anything you want. Persistence is the key to success.

The answers lie inside of you.  The solutions to all of life’s problems lie within your grasp.  All you need to do is ask, look, listen and trust yourself.

Quidnunc

   Busy, busy, busy. How I love to be such. I was on leave the other day because I had to suffice the necessary papers on my fast approaching gamble/adventure/risk/leisure to another place on earth. And others would only think that I was on lazy leave. Oh for heavens sake, I've never thought of malingering since I started to get a job. If I get to have a leave, it's because I wanted to utilize the leaves I am entitled to. Mind you, I've accumulated even the last year's leaves I didn't use, so you see, I have a lot more. But I don't get to enjoy the privilege because whenever I come back for work from a "vacation" leave, I end up being rattled and stressed more. So instead of taking the leave, I'll just wait for a long weekend. It is also a big favor to my reliever if I absent myself, because she has deadlines to meet up too. That is why, I'll still choose to wake up and go to work and learn more and more.    Going back to the unscheduled leave I had, that day was really dead tiring. I won't have to elucidate more on what & how it happened but after all that I have accomplished, I felt really pleased with myself. At last, my legal papers are good and I'm finally set.

   When I came home, I felt hunger and that deprivation of lavishly sound sleep. So after my 50 minute bathe, I rushed to eat and freshen up again and there, I fell asleep at 2pm-ish. But I woke up after 20 minutes, so I believe it was just forty winks at that. And I stared at the ceiling telling myself that I should stand up and be more productive for the day. When I actually had the entire morning running around for errands. Okay, so I stood up, got the broom and swept the floor until I see no more dust. And since it's still a sunny day, I sweat a lot and felt good. Cause for me, if I had physical tasks done for the day, I'd feel that I was really a hardworker (oh, beat that?). It's not that it's good for the body to make me stay fit but it's just a different feeling for me. So from exerting all my full effort to tidy up the room, I got knackered. Then again, fell asleep for an hour.

   Yes, I felt the energy again. But why then would I feel that sleeping in the afternoon is a guilty pleasure? I wanted to do more, go to other places and explore. It was as if there's no tomorrow for me. It's as though I am shooting for a Centrum MultiVitamin commercial that I wanted to be complete? I wanted to be more. I don't want to stay idle for a long time or else my brain gets rusty and my body will be frozen as ice.And so all I have to do is do a little of this and a little of that. Because if you add a little to a little it becomes more, right?

   Okay, so you wanna know what do I wanted to be? (just like for Centrum's commercial). There are a lot of jobs I wanted to have. I wish I could at least be each of these everyday ;p

   These comes in no particular order.

   I wanted to be part of a dance group. I get so giddy whenever I watch G-force perform. So yeah, being a dance enthusiast since I was a little kid, I love the moves of this group even if it's just a single-single, double-double. There's just something on the way they move that I really carefully gaze at (I auditoned twice but didn't get through;p). Count me in as a ballet teacher too. Don't you just love the Tendu step, Ronde de Jambe and the Degage steps in ballet dancing? As though they have no weight at all and like flying goddesses at the theatre. And even the Swan positon, how terrific. Plus the hair bun and tip toes, tutu skirts and bodices. This is so sexy yet classical. I wanted to be a Miss Saigon, oh please, do not appeal. Or portrait a role in stage play of Les Miserables. If I could have the chance to supercede Miss Lea Salonga, well I would. But hell yeah, I couldn't even try to hit the right notes & pitch of On My Own - pretending he's beside me... Enough of the entertainment. Next, I want to be a flight attendant. From Manila to Paris, or from Malaysia to New York, all for free. Doze off on different luxurious hotels during layovers, again for free. This is just a stunning job every girl wants to have. But you have to be a friend of insomnia, jetlags, coping up on different timezones etc etc. So, shall I pursue or not? Let's wait and see. I wanted to be a doctor. an Obstetrician-Gynecologist or Pediatrician (just like my Grandma and Aunt). It's so nice to see the white blazer or whatever that is. It even makes your name a little longer because of the title, like this Clarence Tracy L. Castañeda, Md or another. I want to be a corporate lawyer, maybe it sounds better if it's this way, Atty. Clarence Tracy L. Castañeda. Gosh, it's so nice. And then you can drive around the city with your plate number as Judge, so even if it's your coding day, you can stroll. I want to be an engineer. I am not so sure on what it is called but the one who is the mastermind of all the building infrastructures, I wanna be like that. And how cool is that, a lady up in the unfinished building. I want to be a pre-school teacher. Toddler years are the most crucial years for a child's development, so I want to partake on the child's learning. And kids are sweet even if they are playful and naughty. I want to be chef. Cooking all the sumptuous lunch and dinner for a 6-star resto. I want to be a CEO of a commercial bank. I want to be an ambassador. I want to travel the world! I want to be a mother of twins, a boy and a girl. So cute, with all those kisses and hugs from babies. I want to be a photographer. Capturing moments in the most professional way. I want to put up a charity, I want to protect battered women. Hmm. so there. I wanna be more.

   Whenever I am home I see to it that I do a little of the chores. Sweep the floor, srcrub the comfort room's tiles, wash my clothes, hang and dry them, fold them after. A lot like a domesticated woman can do. I love it when I do the cleaning. I love how it makes me busy.

   So little time so much that I wanted to do, so much that I wanted to be. Dreams are good. Perhaps, I don't want boredom. Or if I am bored I get to think of these dreams and eventually make them real. And I believe that there is always a room of improvement. I will never opt for the bum life. Because if I work, I earn. And the money I have is hard earned money. And I'd live a life full of honor and dignity. So now, I'd love to be called miss independent because of such busyness.

Genuine Friendship

   Far as I know, it is better to have few true friends than a handful of frenemies. Maybe by now you should have known who your true friends are. And I don't care if they are just the same number as the fingers in my right hand. At least, I have the best and of course, the real ones.


   Just last saturday, I had a movie and lunch date with one of my Bff's. Maan has always been and will always be a woman whom I will look up to forever, as a friend. She's someone I really can rely on in times of my depression. And I am glad that she never gets tired of my numerous stories. It's even better because she remains to be my confidante since junior years. I can tell her anything and everything. She makes sure that I am becoming a better person everyday. Because if I had done something worse, she doesn't tolerate me at all. Instead, she inspires me to do better and to make things in the most beautiful way. She's an angel to me. I can tell her how someone had hurt me so bad and she'd just tell all the right words on me, and just in an instant I am becoming an angel too. Her pieces of advice never failed. I admire her for having so much love for the Lord. And with that, I am delighted that she and I are real good friends.

   Of course, through the good times of my life too, she is invariably around. I remember when we were telling stories about the future. Like she will be my wedding singer, and she bursted out in laughter telling me, “Ok, but have you found the groom?”. That made my day and I told her, “It's harder to find all the wedding gowns, venue, church, singer than to find a good groom!”. It was those funny moments that I told myself that this friend of mine will be one of the biggest persons in my life.

   We seldom go out and if we do, we make it a point that all the overdue stories in our life will be tackled. And we always have the time to call and text each other. Even if we can't make it to date out, we will still have the communication so we won't get lost.

   Oh yeah, I have lots of friends. But since I realized, that not all people will really care about me. So I might as well keep all the good ones and still be nice to others who are not. I can count on true friends, whenever, wherever and whatever it may take. I won't name names who they are, they know for themselves who they are. They may be less than 10, but it's safer. Genuine friendship lasts long more that you expect it. I'll look back on this writing of mine in few years time, and again, I tell you, those few true friends that I am talking about are the same true friends I'll cling on.

Life Lessons

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.  All you can do is be someone who can be loved.  The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care some people just don't care back.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but whom you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.  Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.   And, just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt, and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.  Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I've learned that heroes are people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you can’t.

Happy Dad's Day

To the one and only man who:

- picked me up late at night from school after dance rehearsals

- called me up when I was sick

- often asked if I was in a relationship

- told me to take care of mom and my siblings

- requested me to take him to formula one

- got mad when my grades flunk in high school

- is so irritated whenever I sing in the videoke

- told me I don't look good when I am so skinny (he wants me to be fat)

- was stunned when I danced

- has a lot of big dreams for his kids

- would stick with me all through,

I am wishing you happy father's day. I love you Daddy. I promise not to disappoint you. Stay cool and great! Rock and roll! Hahahaha. ♥♥♥ Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.

"A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again." ~Enid Bagnold

Things Guys Should Know About Girls

1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house [without notice]...they run around in their underwear just like we do.

2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and will be mad.

3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the hat.

4. NEVER miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

5. DON'T refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous. .

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.

8. If you don't sleep with them, DO NOT tell your friends that you did.

9. If you DO sleep with them, DON'T tell your friends that you did.

10. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it...

11. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

12. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy..

13. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, ONE OF HIS SWEATSHIRTS, and a really PRETTY RING. Even if it's not a serious relationship.

14. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.

15. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him. --yes

16. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, PULL YOUR GIRLFRIEND CLOSER.(MEN, JUST DO THIS IF YOU LOVE YOUR WOMAN OKAY, YOU KNOW THEY'RE SENSITIVE)

17. NEVER, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.

18. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went. ...

19. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.

20. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky.

21. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding.

22. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.

23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.

24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them WITHOUT being asked.

25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

26. Memorize their birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.

27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good.

28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful.

29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt her more if you draw it out.

30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

31. NEVER, and i mean NEVER make her do anything she doesn't wanna do. Because if you do she'll think that you're only after one thing.

Anniversary

When I was speaking to my boss (who happens to be the chairman of the bank), that he was invited for a dinner party of a law firm tonight, he just told me that " Baka hindi ako pwede, anniversary namin ni Misis." That left my jaw in a deep awe! I just salute this couple so much. I even remembered last year,(same date) when his wife called up in the office and she wanted to speak with her husband, and when my boss had just spoken up, his words were "Happy anniversary." I smiled so wide. I am so astounded of how they have been celebrating their anniversaries together. My boss is a very good man, a good provider to his sons and just as you can see, he is a loyal husband. I know that for sure. And no doubt that I admire this kind of a man.

Love and respect is the root cause of all of these anniversaries. They all had the strength to be standing still even to this point. It is so sweet that both of them never forgot the special date in their lives. Love works stronger even in this world full of infidelity.

I am a fan of their love team, for all time. I'll keep praying for them, forever.

Just for the record, my boss is, I think 72 years old by now. But see, he and Mrs. are so full of romance, as though they're just teenagers for a high school prom.

Minus One Family

I heard the news yesterday that my Tita and my four lovely girl cousins are leaving the country - for good. Patrice, Nicole, Sam and Kass are like my little sisters. Being so candid and giddy, I will surely miss all of them. I do not know exactly the date they're leaving but perhaps, not more than 2 months. As we grow older in the family, we all have different dreams and ambitions. And I guess, this one makes it so hard, that somewhere in time, we all have to make all those dreams come true, regardless of who you are leaving.

Now the family gatherings may be not be as often as before, but we all have to grow as individuals. And I believe too, that my Tita and Tito will have to focus on their family life in Canada. It isn't easy but it's for everyone's good. When they leave, there will be no girls screaming, giggling, running around the house, etc. Gosh , I just can't believe that now is the time. I hope each member of our family will be able to reach the dreams we've been pursuing. One day, we'll all have the bonding time again.

I hope time slows down.

45 Lessons Life Taught Me

   Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written." My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it..

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you, really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone, everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Deceptions and Lies

   How would you know someone lied to you? And you just believed that trusting this person is the best thing you could do, but still, that person broke it. I have just read recently that you can always forgive a person who has done so much damaged on you, but you don't have to trust easily. On my part, I forgave and I trusted again and again. For so many years now, it is only today that I have been shaken and finally, I already know his deceptions and lies. Well, I actually knew it before, but I am so blinded by affection. I am such a forgiving person. I have a soft heart that even when you hurt me, and just say sorry afterwards, I will still forgive you and forget about every wrong thing you've caused me.

   When one asks me to trust him, I just simply do. Without doubts and hesitations. But that person simply threw up everything. He's a big fat liar. I have some evidences about his lies. He doesn't really care who he hurts. Why do some people never learned to make the trust worth it? I guess somehow it's true that, you'd better trust your instincts than to trust a man's word. I have tried to listen to my so called woman's instincts and they really are true, well, most of the time. I believe too, that there's something wrong about this man. He's sick. He has this psychological problem that intrudes upon him. But he barely knows about it. I have encountered at least two pathological liars already in my life by now. So I hope, I will be more keen about their attitude.

   It's not that I am bitter about how he have hurt me. It's just that he incredibly lies so much for a long time. He might be a burden to someone else's life as well. I guess he makes lying a habit. I hope when the time comes that he is telling the truth, everyone believes it. How could he be a pain in my ass? One day, I may have a face to face conversation again with him but I will stand firm that I won't fall for his traps anymore. But if all else fails, I will still try to be a good friend to him. Who knows, all he needs is a good friend to make him a better man.