Heavy Heart

   There are things that I have planned lately and they didn'y go through as much as I wanted to. I hate it. I left my sister's place with a heavy heart, coz it made me sad to leave them. I didn't had tha chance to see that store open. It was already closed as soon as I stepped out of the cab. I've said farewell to a very good friend of mine. I'm so disappointed because I didn't attend the mass. So pissed off because all the things that I've planned didn't push through. I felt so bad, things didn't get in my way. I've wasted time, money and energy.

   I felt so bad. I don't know if my feelings for this certain guy is love for a friend or for more than that. And I've been thinking about another guy who has been special to me. But he's so bizarre about his real feelings. Or perhaps, he really has no feelings for me at all. It's just me being assuming. I hate it. Everything is in disorder. I am sad today. Really sad and really disppointed.

   Maybe I won't sleep that long again. I'll wake up before my alarm ticks. And I hate it, it happened for almost a week already. I'll sleep late, I'll wake up early, with thoughts that will make me unhappy. I don't like it that way. I felt so empty. I want to get tired and really exhausted, so it'll be easier for me to fall asleep. But it isn't that way. I want serenity and happiness. I really felt so alone, So, bear with me.