What is Missing?

            I never knew I had everything before I jumped in here, right at this situation.

            I was happier before. When the 6:45am alarm clock ticks, I wake up effortlessly. I was excited to go to work at that time. You’d see me jolly, smiling at every colleague. But now, I can’t. I just can’t force myself to be happy. Monetary reward it is. But I feel unhappy.

            Yes, I’ve wished for this. I’m so sorry, I failed.

            I see different colors of people. But I couldn’t trust someone so much. I can’t be that confident to do so.

            I might explode one day.

            Shall I go back? Shall I sacrifice?

            Why is that, that in this world, you need a lot of money to enjoy life? And I am talking about pleasure. Why can’t life be just simple?

            I miss the life I had. When I was a girl who would smile even to the strangest stranger.

            Again, for the nth time, within the seven months I am in this place, I throw a complicated question to my face: Happiness, where are you?