For Every Woman

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own even if she never wants

to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her

dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to

retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black

lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who

lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone

else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a

recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

HOW TO QUIT A JOB,

BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,

AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

whom she can trust,

whom she can't,

and why she shouldn't

take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...

be it to her best friend's kitchen table...

or a charming inn in the woods...

when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...

a month...and a year..."

*Pamela Redmond Satran

I Have Yet To Find Here

I live in desert, not literally, but still I can feel that I am in it. So humid, that the heat pricks painfully on my skin. I am waiting for winter. Today, I found myself missing a lot of things in the province where I grew up. I  formidably miss the rain. The heaviness of it, the thunder, the lightning. It's coldness makes me addicted to coffee. Oh how come I miss pork? We buy pork in Spinneys, expensive it is. But since it is prohibited in here, I will have to eat a little. So that makes me a little vegetarian. Ah! The breathing of fresh air.  What's with them that smells so dreadful? Geez. Different nationalities are also evident here, so diverse huh. Maybe because work is better and well compensated. It's just that we differ in our English (which is the universal language), that is why sometimes I get headache understanding them. And I am honored to tell that we, Filipinos are best in English, not the broken one. They all have the same names, like Mohammed. Every office has a guy named like that.  Christmas spirit is nowhere to be found in a non Christian country. I cannot hear the melodies of the multihued christmas lights. I miss simbang gabi, the traditional puto bumbong and bibingka. As for me, December is the best month of the year. Where everyone goes to shop for gift giving. Ahhh. I miss Philippines.  But surely, the best thing I've loved in here is that salary is tax free. So, I get to receive what is rightfully mine.

A Woman's Question

A Woman's Question

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing

Ever made by the Hand above?

A woman's heart, and a woman's life---

And a woman's wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing

As a child might ask for a toy?

Demanding what others have died to win,

With a reckless dash of boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,

Manlike, you have questioned me.

Now stand at the bars of my woman's soul

Until I shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall always be hot,

Your socks and your shirt be whole;

I require your heart be true as God's stars

And as pure as His heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,

I require a far greater thing;

A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts---

I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,

And a man that his Maker, God,

Shall look upon as He did on the first

And say: "It is very good."

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade

From this soft young cheek one day;

Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,

As you did 'mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,

I may launch my all on its tide?

A loving woman finds heaven or hell

On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,

All things that a man should be;

If you give this all, I would stake my life

To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this, a laundress and cook

You can hire and little to pay;

But a woman's heart and a woman's life

Are not to be won that way."

*Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Absent Minded

When oblivion attacks me, I have to at least be reminded these simple things for myself. Because if I forget, my world will be blank. Here I go, - Drink plenty of water, like 6-8 liters a day. - Take my vitamins every single day, the iron, vitamin c & e and multivitamins. Health is wealth. - That saving is much important than having a lot of things. - That it is okay to say no, if I really do not like. And yes, if I am  into it. - Work hard now, sacrifice today for a bigger, better, brighter future. - Privacy is a must. The world has been so focused with social networking sites like these, especially facebook, it's way too crowded. But at least, I can instantly connect with all of you. - That karma is a bitch. So, don't dare. - Maintain a good balance in the bank. No more credit cards, please - That it feels good to fall in love, but it's better if I fall for the better man. - Read more, more, more books. - Blog more often :)

The Eid Effect On Me

 Thinking it will be End of Ramadan sale, Dara, Nikka and I went out to a non high end department store to buy a jogging pants. I was wearing maong shorts, the typical shorts I used to wear in the Philippines, because it's just a 5 minute walk away from the flat. Dara actually says I shouldn't wear that but it's where I am comfortable with.

 On the department store, luckily, I've already bought a jogging pants. A very old fashioned Arab guy spoke to me:

 Arab: (pointing to my shorts or legs) That's not good in Ramadan, in Islam, it's no good.

 Tracy: (shocked) What? I'm sorry, you see I have this (jogging pants), I'll wear it.

  I ran away, went up to change in the fitting room. While I was waiting for my turn in the room, a British in her middle 40's smiled at me,

  Ms. Brit: Hey, you've got a nice body, huh.

  Tracy: Oh, thanks. But you know the local guy told me I shouldn't be wearing such, coz it's Eid, it's not good for the Islamic country. Blah blah blah.

  Ms. Brit: That's okay, Ramadan will end tomorrow, after that you can wear anything you like.

  Tracy: I guess so. Thanks!

  So, I changed from shorts to jogging pants. And I told the British lady, maybe this is better.

  Hmm, did my legs hurt the local guy's eyes? The lesson of this experience is to stay beside the Europeans and Americans. Hide away from the local guys.

Get It Poppin

Few days ago, I have been mulling over about partying here. I rarely, really go on a night out to party when I was in Manila. I've known to be home buddy on a friday night, on a deep slumber beside my mom in her bed. I've known to be a dancer and somebody's just so having the look in his/her face if he/she discovers that I don't go out on weekend nights. Plus having that clean living lifestyle, I can't stand the smoke from cigarette. But now, I don't know if this is just not so me that I wanted a low carbonated beer or vodka or a tequilla shot and then dance the night away with a little dress. Or just maybe, I wanted to get away from what I used to do. I want to bounce, shake and twist. I want to dance, only dance. I don't even care if someone's watching. It's the feel-good feeling of that blasting high volumed hip hop music banging in my ears. And when I get my hair wet because of sweat is so fabulous!   I've missed dancing, my ultimate passion for all time. Coz if there's only one thing I'm good at is, is that. The one and only talent I've been holding out. I want to free myself with the moves. Because now, I can't! I work. I think, I have to finalize something.  So if you're out of here too, and happen to stumble upon me, you know what to do. Dance with me. Heedless of which genre.

Why Do People Cheat?

Why do I find it so easy not to cheat?

Maybe I'm not very attractive, so my options are limited. Maybe I'm too jaded to go for the cheating opportunities. Maybe I still have some mental wounds lingering from when my dad temporarily moved out because he had met another woman. Maybe I'm too afraid that I've reached my sin quotient and one more big sin will keep me out of heaven.

Cheating is not a caught in the moment thing if you are really into your significant other, you miss them when you are not with them, you don't look for a way to hurt or deceive them.

I am just now patching up a friendship with someone I was seeing while they had a boyfriend (that may make me a cheater). At different points she told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend, that they were back together, and that he was boring and I was fun. It was total confusion.

I told her she wasn't being fair to herself, me, or him.

Finally, she said, "you just don't understand, there are things you don't know." Thing is she's been cheating on him for a couple of years with different guys, and he keeps taking her back.

So, are cheaters born cheaters, or do certain situations cause people to cheat? Probably a little bit of both. Here are some situations that make people cheat:

1. Bored
I'd say this is the most common reason that people cheat.It's tough to keep that edge throughout a relationship. Things start off grand and then level off and then you both realize that it's still real life. When you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new relationship kicks back in.

2. Dependence
At first glance, cheating seems like independent behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you want, when you want. But I would argue that cheating is a dependent behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough to break up with their significant other in order to get with the new person.

3. Confusion
Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes.

4. Because They Let You
If any girl ever cheated on me, I'd break up with her immediately. Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away with it, because you'll continue to take them back.

5. Nurturing
If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get away from him or her. But sometimes it's not that simple-maybe you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad relationship, it's only natural that you will run to the open arms of a person who treats you well.

6. Revenge
This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some way, you do it to get them back.

7. Confirmation of Attractiveness
Sometimes when you're in a long relationship, or if your significant other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you're still attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If you have an affair, you've proven that a new person can be attracted to you.

8. The Thrill
Some people just enjoy the thrill of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught, andcreating thrilling moments with a forbidden romance.

9. They Don't Consider It Cheating, Even Though You Might
Relationships have that grey area, usually right before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you're "together," and you think date #2 is when you're "together." If you haven't talked about exclusivity, someone may think they are well within their rights to see other people, even though the other person in the relationship may not.

I don't understand why people don't break up as soon as they have an urge to cheat. Is it natural to have temptation, or is temptation a sign that the relationship is losing its fire? What reasons would you add to this list, and do you disagree with any? If you've ever cheated, why did you do it? Could you forgive a cheater? If you are single, but seeing a person who is in a committed relationship, does that make you a cheater?



* Rich Santos