You're Only Just A Dream Boat

"..sailing in my head." He's within reach, he's an hour away. Too close and still close enough to miss him. But if I hear his voice, hear him laugh, see his smile, everything will eventually change. And I'm not prepared for that transition, yet. He must have been calling me, asking how I was. But he doesn't and I guess he'll never will. I have to be okay with that. The moon I see tonight is still the same moon he'll see. And perhaps, he gazes at it with his beloved. When way back then, I was his.  If this letter reaches him, I do hope that he knows what to do with his life. This is not deliberately for him to read, but for me to keep my stuffs. And finally, this short dorky journal I've written on my sentiments towards him is the last. After this, no more. This reminds me of a closure.

On Being Frail

Much as I wanted to write in happy thoughts only, I just can't seem to detain how frail I have been. But nevertheless, here I am, jotting down notes or yet typing hurriedly so I just can dispense this downcast emotions. I yearn for someone so much. And I wonder who that is.    I want to cease this suspecting and just stop this firm faith on my intuitions. For once, I want someone whom I can really trust. Wherever he may be, even we are worlds apart. That I will only be the girl of his dreams and his heart. But no, I am not on his thoughts anymore. And maybe by this time, I shouldn't really care. Several years have proceeded, but up to now, I am thinking of, 'What if we could have been together until now?", would we be good together or had broken up just yesterday. Or if he had cheated on me that's why he left. I do not know.    It amazes me that even if I haven't found the response to those queries of the past, I must say that things happened for a very good reason. And that when I am weak like this, I only turn to God for strength. I guess that He laughs at me today for writing this. Someday, I'll laugh at this stuff too.    But really, I just want to see his face. On how he looks now. Does he have the same sweet smile? Or maybe he has now aged, not as juvenile as I once knew. Will he still be able to tell me that I am beautiful in his eyes? Does my name give him a little sting on his ears? Did he miss me after all? And if he suddenly sees me, will he ask for my contact number? Probably not. Have he already somehow made his dreams come true? With full hopes, I hope he did.    I never wished ill feelings towards someone who has offended me. But how could that someone be a nuisance in any way or another. It is on my weakness that I get to tell all these, of course when I am strong I feel happiness. I am not really sad, however, it's just so weak of me that I haven't fought on this certain mystery. You may not know it, but there's a battle inside of me that I can't explicate for the moment.    Is this just about missing someone or just like everyone else, who feels a little weakling at one point in their lives? And because of this, I can't see the connection of me being frail on missing someone. It's so chaotic. I don't want to be disintegrated. I have to resist this. I have to have strength.

Inspired and Motivated

   I have been constantly reading inspirational stories about life. And I guess this is cool. I learned a thought on every single detail it brings to me. It even makes my heart jump faster, for the reason that I can share my readings to others too. So if you will notice, I have a lot of inspirational short readings about how good life is. Sharing them with all of you is even greater. I read them all over again to remind myself that no one is perfect but at least, life is good.

Top Ten Tiger Woods Lessons for Success

1. Expect to win.
       Know in your heart that you are a winner.

  2. Let your expectations show.
       Express no doubts, let your competitors and your friends know  that you have none.

  3. Work, practice, work, and practice some more.
       At the top of his field, he can still be seen hitting buckets  of balls until dark - even if he's just won.

  4. Dress and act like a winner.
       This is a part of keeping yourself in a winning frame of mind.

  5. Have a sense of drama - don't create it but know it when you see  it.
       You don't have to seek out publicity, but know how to accept  and use it when it comes to you.

  6. Know that there is always room to grow.
       Being the best does not mean you can't be even better.

  7. Hang with the winners.
       They understand the pressures and situations in which you will  find yourself.

  8. Put yourself in situations where you are not known as a success.
       May be difficult, but this helps you to stay real.

  9. Value and protect your free time and do what you enjoy.
       The discipline of being a winner needs a safety valve from time  to time.

  10. Remember those who need help.
       Somewhere, someone helped you - be willing to give back.

Graduation Speech

ADVICE, LIKE YOUTH, PROBABLY JUST WASTED ON THE YOUNG June 1, 1997 Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates. I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.  Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen. Mary Schmich

Changing Time Zones

        A tear fell from my eyes when I adjusted the hour and the minute hands of my wrist watch. Now, it's minus 4 hours from Philippine time. As well as my body clock, my dealing with people I will be living and working with will be adjusted. But no regrets, this is a full choice I have thought for so long. I may have missed my family and friends back home but I will always say my prayers for them.

         So, what to do now since I am already in Abu Dhabi? Find a better job. Or else my visa will expire. Oh please, Lord. I should also surf the net for a longer time to check on mom, dad and my siblings, my relatives and friends. Find clothes that will fit the weather. Explore the city and it's nearby cities. Meet up with good friends who are already here. Buy an inspirational book, share chikas with Ate Cha. Besides, I don't want to bore myself just because I am homesick. I have to fight loneliness. Though the feeling hasn't sunk in yet. Perhaps. later on it will. But I will have enough strength to cope up with it.

        It is God's plan why I am here. I am sure He has planned better ones for me still. I just don't know them yet.  

        This changing time zones is one of the few dreams that opened into reality. Bye for now. I'll be working hard for the dream job first.

All I Ever Learned

All I ever learned from a dog:

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it's in your best interest, always practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and always stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp, and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you're not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
14. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
15. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
16. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
17. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
18. No matter how often you are criticized, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.

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ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM NOAH'S ARK

• Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
• Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.
• Don't listen to critics, do what has to be done.
• Build on high ground.
• For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
• Two heads are better than one.
• Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.
• If you can't fight or flee, float!
• Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.
• Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
• When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't sit there and complain shovel!!!
• Stay below deck during the storm.
• Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.
• If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.
• Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.
• Don't miss the boat. No matter how bleak it looks, there's always a rainbow on the other side.