As I listen to dreamsounds before falling asleep, I now am allowing myself to fall in love. With my full consent. Just a piece of happiness and an everlasting romance.
But then again, who? When? A big question.
Let's fly away baby.
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Much as I wanted to write in happy thoughts only, I just can't seem to detain how frail I have been. But nevertheless, here I am, jotting down notes or yet typing hurriedly so I just can dispense this downcast emotions. I yearn for someone so much. And I wonder who that is. I want to cease this suspecting and just stop this firm faith on my intuitions. For once, I want someone whom I can really trust. Wherever he may be, even we are worlds apart. That I will only be the girl of his dreams and his heart. But no, I am not on his thoughts anymore. And maybe by this time, I shouldn't really care. Several years have proceeded, but up to now, I am thinking of, 'What if we could have been together until now?", would we be good together or had broken up just yesterday. Or if he had cheated on me that's why he left. I do not know. It amazes me that even if I haven't found the response to those queries of the past, I must say that things happened for a very good reason. And that when I am weak like this, I only turn to God for strength. I guess that He laughs at me today for writing this. Someday, I'll laugh at this stuff too. But really, I just want to see his face. On how he looks now. Does he have the same sweet smile? Or maybe he has now aged, not as juvenile as I once knew. Will he still be able to tell me that I am beautiful in his eyes? Does my name give him a little sting on his ears? Did he miss me after all? And if he suddenly sees me, will he ask for my contact number? Probably not. Have he already somehow made his dreams come true? With full hopes, I hope he did. I never wished ill feelings towards someone who has offended me. But how could that someone be a nuisance in any way or another. It is on my weakness that I get to tell all these, of course when I am strong I feel happiness. I am not really sad, however, it's just so weak of me that I haven't fought on this certain mystery. You may not know it, but there's a battle inside of me that I can't explicate for the moment. Is this just about missing someone or just like everyone else, who feels a little weakling at one point in their lives? And because of this, I can't see the connection of me being frail on missing someone. It's so chaotic. I don't want to be disintegrated. I have to resist this. I have to have strength. |
ADVICE, LIKE YOUTH, PROBABLY JUST WASTED ON THE YOUNG June 1, 1997 Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who'd rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates. I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen. Mary Schmich |
ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM NOAH'S ARK
• Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
• Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.
• Don't listen to critics, do what has to be done.
• Build on high ground.
• For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
• Two heads are better than one.
• Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.
• If you can't fight or flee, float!
• Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.
• Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.
• When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't sit there and complain shovel!!!
• Stay below deck during the storm.
• Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.
• If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.
• Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.
• Don't miss the boat. No matter how bleak it looks, there's always a rainbow on the other side.